Mouse. House. Strauss?

Ever wondered just what exactly you’re going to do with the Deadmau5 and Strauss mix that you’ve been brooding on for all these years? You know, the one you’ve fondly christened ‘Fuck My Leider’, because apparently wordplay is your main bag. Well, now is your chance to usher that fledgling into the world. Deadmau5 and ‘Beatport’ have decided to present the ultimate remix challenge, which is very kind of them. The deal is: you remix the ‘unreleased hit’ that is ‘SOFI needs a Ladder‘, profit – in the form of a slot on the release, and a booking as Mr Mau5′s opening act.

All details are here.

Concerted Effort

Over the past couple of years or so, making music hasn’t been a priority. As Bored of Pixels myself and David have done very little, we’ve got a few backing tracks down – but nothing concrete, and nothing finished.

This year, we are going to be living near each other, and this should enable good music things to happen.

If it doesn’t I’ll eat this cat:

I’m as shocked as you are

In the light of the apparent succession of The GaGa to Supreme Ruler of the Universe recent developments, it should hardly be surprising that other dancing girlcreatures might try to emulate a more unconventional and inventive style. Behold, thus, the latest video from SheChav Cheryl Cole.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=vfiWXIQ85ho (an embeddable version is yet to appear)

It’s got to be said from the off. This is by far the best thing that SheChav has ever done. The splitscreen effect, not unlike the song itself, is minimalstic and subtle, developing slowly. The vocal line, despite being comprised of lyrics verging on the periodically banal, fits the production nicely. The splitscreen effect is perfect for a duet too. I’m genuinely really rather impressed.

Whaddya reckon?

Rihanna has visual third-person heart palpitations.

I love Rihanna, there’s something indivisibly personal about the way she sings, and I honestly believe that pop music doesn’t get much better than her last album. So naturally, I had titanic hopes for her return. These empty, hungry hopes have now been filled with her rich, satisfying comeback in the form of ‘Russian Roulette’. It’s an interesting choice for a comeback single, for a start it’s pretty fucking slow, and to be honest I didn’t realise it’s what I wanted until I heard it.

‘You can see my heart, beating, you can see it though my chest’

And of course in video you literally can, you can also very literally see her amazing breasts, enjoy:

Jonny Craig does something good, again.

Unbeknownst to me Jonny Craig of Dance Gavin Dance fame is doing some sort of solo-project as an aside from is usual shrieking in Emarosa. When the majority of frontmen decide to embark down the Path of the Side Project they usually take a wrong turn and find themselves firmly at a lost within the dark and poorly written Swamps of Acoustic Plight, Jonny didn’t.

He found a passing pimp and took his ‘mobile’ all the way to FUNKSVILLE.

He is most certainly a better man for it. Ironically the result is something that sounds quite a lot like what Dance Gavin Dance are doing now, which makes you wonder what they might have become if he’d have stayed. You wonder that for a second, before promptly getting back to dancing your fucking tits off.

To the victor, the spoils.

The Muse I knew were tailor-made for academically inclined bedroom-dwelling adolescents. They had a safety scissor edge to them, a potential . They enabled a kind of Mild Rebellion – the thrill of ‘rock music’ within comforting environment of the classical, a scary dropped riff, quickly giving way to something soothing. For many they were the water-wings into meatier music. Their roll was defined and clear. So what now, what position do they fill?

Their latest album ‘The Resistance’ does nothing to ‘resist’ languishing in a mushy pile of progressive shit. Muse geographers may note that this shit-pile is to found at the bottom of the slippery-slope named ‘Blackholes and Revelations’. There is nothing in there for our previously defined audience, so: to whom does muse now appeal? The answer, as seen by their new announced wembley summer show, is everyone else.

So, in all seriousness let’s pat their backs, acknowledge their achievements. They’ve come gone from grass roots to national football pitches. Congratulations Coldplay, you’ve found the perfect venue for your foot-tapping stadium rock.

I feel that I was unnecessarily dismissive of JLS last time – to make amends I urge you to listen to thisss:

Fuckin’ Posers…

Here’s a late review for you! Taio Cruz’ ‘Rokstarr’ was out about a month ago, and is now next against the wall for review. Luckily it’s quite good, and so won’t get totally savaged.

There’s probably not a person on the planet who hasn’t heard ‘Break Your Heart’, the lead track on the album, and it’s probably the best one. Synth arpeggios ring their way through the track, and it suits perfectly the  club atmosphere for which it was crafted. Nice job, Taio! It’s followed by the deliciously pervy ‘Dirty Picture’, which defies its pop-rave lead-in to slide into sublime Fedde Le Grand-inspired bass triplets. It’s not a single. Yet. Give ‘er time.

Later, male ‘chav du jour‘ Tinchy Stryder rears his head in ‘Take Me Back’. It’s a decent track, with those repetitive synth patches we heard in Timbaland’s JT hits echoing through the song like an AK-47 stuck on auto. Of course, perhaps predictably, ‘repetitive’ suits the album if you want an all-encompassing description. But that’s not a bad thing! This is pop, very good pop, and frankly, we weren’t expecting Cruz-san to break new, virgin ground with every offering. ‘Rokstarr’ is brimming, brimming with production line delights, and it’s a better album for it. Snap.

Catch it in your Hands?

Being a Nihongophile, Squeenix’s track record of assigning Japanese theme songs to their record-smashing, century-devouring games has never proved too much of a problem for me. For other mere mortals, mere mortals like Myles, can there be anything more frustrating than not understanding a game’s theme song? The very soul of a product, in ballad form. Its comprehension beyond your reach. A reality I shudder to contemplate. Having learnt Japanese for the sole purpose of translating these aural epics, I can tell you, with no trace of mendacity, that they’re meaningless gibberish music is better for these songs existing.

The Beast Is Returned

In the earliest hours of yesterday morn a most curious thing was taking place throughout this land. Compelled by post-religious zeal, followers of the CoCoD (Church of Call of Duty) assembled to welcome the return of their deity. A rather curious deity in a number of respects, you won’t find any anti-aliasing on Vishnu; however much like religion, it has sparked it’s fair share of controversy.

Yes, that airport level.

The one where you slaughter civilians whilst posing as a terrorist. Is it wrong that you can carry out this atrocity in a incredibly realistic way? Of course not. Yes it is graphic, bloody and incredibly violent; but it is just part of a story, one that is examining the state-granted absolution that being a solider affords in an interesting and striking way.

Frankly i’m ecstatic that a popular game has this kind of depth. Compare this to the current number one by ‘JLS’ which requests that:

‘EVERYBODY IN LOVE PUT YOUR HANDS UP’

God bless Modern Warfare 2.

Phoenix.

Right; I’m casting resurrect. I’m going to ride this flaming phoenix from the ashes of indifference and defeat, into a bright new horizon of blog.

David, if you see this, then you’re doing it too, like it or not.